This was their first child. However, the new baby girl came with some problems. Nothing brings parents to their knees faster than a child in trouble. This one had macroglossia. Her tongue was abnormally large compared to her mouth and face. Being a south-end doctor, this was a north-end problem and I didn’t know much about it at the time. Still, the mother was a surgical nurse, a friend, and understandably concerned. I stopped in to offer well wishes, comfort, and listen. It turns out that macroglossia, as a solitary finding is exceedingly rare. The options for surgical revision were not necessary and the baby grew into her tongue after about a year, only to develop south-end troubles. About the time her tongue was no longer worrisome, she was found to have an obstructed kidney. This was my department. Fortunately for everyone involved, the surgical results were excellent and we all breathed easier after the follow-up images showed normal function. But that did not end their need for a urologist.
Friday nights were her husband’s night out with the boys. He came home from a crowded day managing the family’s successful potato business and changed into his fancy Levis and fancy boots. It was about this time of year. As he opened the door to brave the cold, he had one boot out the door and the other in the living room. It was snowing and he was anxious to get into his truck and listen to country music as he drove to town. She slowed him down, saying that she wanted to talk. His impatience carried him to the door, but his conscience dragged him back into the house. Inward he was a man trying to leave and stay at the same time. He knew better than walking away when his wife wanted to talk.
“What is it? The boys are waiting for me.” Tears filled her beautiful eyes and she choked up. Turning to look back at her, he said, “Well, what is so important?” She couldn’t contain it for another moment and blurted out, “I’m pregnant!” Surprised, he just stood there for a moment, scowled, and blurted right back, “Well, that sucks!” Slamming the door, he strode off into the storm, not knowing that he needed a urologist.
Later on, she brought him to my office for a consultation. She was present when he had his vasectomy. Many wives do this, but she is the only wife who assisted with the procedure. An excellent surgical nurse, she skillfully passed the instruments to me and assured herself that the procedure was successful. I also had the distinct impression that she wanted to confirm that her husband shared some of the pain.
Ever vigilant,
RT
Author's note: He is not the only patient to survive early-marriage, male, oafish behavior. This couple has enjoyed a successful and happy marriage. He has been a trusted friend for over 30 years, and wouldn't take any money after he paddled out onto a half-frozen reservoir to rescue my dock from a moving ice pack. His wife enjoyed a prominent career in surgical nursing and education. Their children are now beautiful adult young women and I can't tell which one was my patient when she was an infant.
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