Somehow MK and I were able to conceive, deliver, and raise four children without home pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, or reveal parties. Nowadays a parade of prenatal options makes child-bearing as much fun as possible for everyone involved. It wasn’t always so. From the beginning, pregnancy and marriage were painted up in the scriptures as a curse from the Lord after Eve followed the serpent and ate the apple. As recorded in Genesis 3:16 “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” Members of my faith are instructed to multiply and replenish the earth and have joy and rejoicing in their posterity. So which is it, multiplied sorrows and being ruled over by husbands or replenish the earth with joy, rejoicing, and reveal parties? News flash! For thousands of years, babies have been born without doctors, hospitals, or reveal parties. I think that the sorrow part mostly came from the very real risk of death that comes with childbearing. One of the greatest achievements of modern medicine is the reduction in the truly awful maternal and fetal mortality rates. The promises of procreation-sorrow found in Genesis have been greatly diminished over the last century--just to live at this time is a great reason for happiness and gratitude. So, in the spirit of joy and rejoicing, my son, James, found a fun way to work golf into his wife’s pregnancy. We held a reveal party on our dock last month with a gender-revealing golf swing. I was told that when the golf ball exploded into a blue cloud, it meant that our next grandchild will be a boy. This fact had been confirmed earlier with ultrasound and allowed them to chose a name, something masculine that I was not supposed to tell anyone. That’s easy, I can't remember the name, so I'm safe. Like many things that I am told in confidence not to reveal, I forget the details and can’t remember if it is supposed to be public or private hush-hush stuff. Sometimes I slip up and let the cat out of the bag. When it comes to MK's hush-hush stuff, it is like herding cats--sometimes the cats escape and I am left holding the bag. I think I remember MK telling me that she had revoked my cat-herding security clearance. Either way, the gender-reveal party is over for what's-his-name. The youngest child was excited to learn that he would have a little brother and was all smiles when the golf ball turned into a blue puff of smoke. The middle child spouted “Dang it!” She thought that she was in charge and wanted a new little sister. She stomped off the dock in defeat, sporting a frown and a pouty lower lip. Her older sister was unimpressed with all the drama and had another perspective as she walked away saying, “I really don’t care. In four years I’ll be outta here. Its not my problem. Adios. Goodbye. ” Their mother watched the party with great interest and enthusiasm but remained off-camera. I suppose she did not want to be photographed multiplying the sorrows of her conception. Meanwhile, as you can see in this picture, the father is finishing a most excellent gender-reveal golf swing, looking out across the Island Park Reservoir while following the scriptural directive found in Genesis--ruling over his wife and family. Perfect.
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